Is there an “ideal” age gap?
In Singapore, the birth rate of 1.17 recorded last year was the second lowest ever recorded. Despite these numbers, some brave parents are decided to have a second kid. So, what is the ideal age difference between two children?
There are usually two ways of thinking: those who decide to return to diapers as soon as they left them, and those who prefer to wait for a few years before going back to them. Then what is the best configuration?
Well, everything depends on what you are looking for your family, use the advantages and disadvantages of each gap! You must first and foremost manage the situation of a single child before considering a second child and take the necessary time to recover from your pregnancy.
A small difference in age: between rivalry and complicity
The most common configuration is between 2 and 4 years of gap between two children. There are numerous advantages and inconveniences common to a difference in age of one year and of three years, but there are some nuances to be brought.
Advantages:
- Your children can have common centers of interests and play together.
- To wait at least 18 months between two for pregnancy decreases the risk of complications.
- Concerning finance, you can recycle the affairs of for each other (toys but also clothes).
- Complicity between both children is going to build up itself over the years, even if it will not be simple every day.
Disadvantages:
- The coming of small brother/sister can be difficult to understand for a child of fewer than 5 years old.
- The risk of sibling rivalry can be brought up because the children will maybe have difficulty in finding their place.
- The quarrels can be endless because there is no more mature child to think about the situation in a different way.
- Although they do not have the same age, your two children always ask for a lot of attention during the first years.
And the life with children at the distant ages?
Beyond 6 years apart, your children will be able to watch over each other.
Advantages:
- The elder child is mature enough to take care of the youngest.
- You can concentrate on a single child before the second arrives, and thus you take advantage entirely of each of your children.
- A rivalry is less likely
- The quarrels are generally more reasoned
Inconveniences:
- There is a risk which your children do not share much because they will have no same centers of interests.
- Teenagers can poorly receive the youngest son in the middle of a crisis.
- An educational difference between your two children can be made because you are not anymore the same parent as when you had your first child. It can cause tensions and some “injustices”.
- Sleepless nights while you sleep well for a few years is a real challenge.
The important, it is that the parents respect the differences of their children, by encouraging them in their uniqueness and by keeping moments favored with each of them.
Are you expecting a second kid? Which gap will you prefer?
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