We’re so driven and fixated on our cause of parenting that many a time we tend to neglect ourselves. All our time and energy is focused on activities that centre around our children, leaving us with hardly any time for ourselves.
Self-care is important to maintain our well-being. We need to strike a good balance to take care of ourselves so that we are in top form to take care of the ones we love.
Contrary to stereotype thinking, taking care of ourselves first is not a selfish act. So we shouldn’t feel guilty about time-off from our children. In fact, it is necessary and wise. It’s only when we are physically, mentally and emotionally well that we can be good caretakers.
Anyway, I’ve had my fair share of those times where I rush from home to office and back home, my time divided only between work and taking care of my baby. At the end of the day, there was hardly any energy left for me. Day in and day out, this life soon became tiring and unexciting.
So, before I experience a burn-out from a life of no self-care, I decided to make time for myself. It works differently for every mummy. Take as much or as little time as you need, just to recharge yourself. There are no set rules on how to go about taking care of yourself.
Here are some ideas on what you can do, and know that we can transition into motherhood, fully enjoying the journey, without losing ourselves to this journey alone.
Set Time Aside With Your Spouse
One of the people we also neglect when being solely focused on our children is our spouse. Granted, both are usually tied down with work and home responsibilities, and if one were to take time off, the other needs to step up to care for the children.
Even so, find ways to be with each other at least once a month. Have someone mind the children while you two spend precious time as a couple.
For the marriage to get stronger over our lifetime, we need to constantly connect with each other. Thus, time alone with one another is important.
During this time, consider some of the following things to do together:
- Take walks together or go cycling or indulge in a shared hobby
- Go to the gym or other forms of workouts together
- Learn something new or take a class that both of you enjoy
- Sit down and talk to each other about your worries, problems, dreams, future, etc
- Go for a short getaway somewhere, even one night away without kids is good!
- Like old times during courting days, go meet up with friends together for drinks
Set Time Aside To Be By Yourself
Go on and have some peace and quiet time for yourself. Do whatever it is that recharges you. Most importantly, you shouldn’t spend this time feeling guilty about being away from your children. Focus on enjoying your time alone.
A refreshed mummy will be a better mother to her children. Being in a better mood, being more alert and active will serve our children well when they are around us. Let’s not be the forever tired, grumpy and naggy mummy that our children want to stay away from.
Here are some ideas on what you can do during your time-out to rejuvenate:
- Pamper yourself at a spa/massage/facial/manicure if that’s what you enjoy
- Time to read books or magazines you’ve always wanted to indulge in
- Give yourself time and permission to binge-watch your favourite dramas
- Go for yoga or meditation retreats (if that’s your thing) or a sound therapy session
- Solo getaway to rejuvenate and see a new place, or revisit a place you love
- Laze around and do absolutely nothing, just catch up on sleep and rest!
Set Time Aside For Family And Friends
There are probably many people in our lives who are important to us, but we lack the time to tend to all of them. Being with people we care about is not only good for them but for us as well. We want to be there for our loved ones, and be in each other’s lives. Having children shouldn’t cut us off from everyone else.
So make time for family members and friends, spend time to catch up. Go out to your favourite hang-outs or simply spend time at each other’s houses over meals and coffee.
You’d be surprised how much good this can do for all parties. This way, we get to maintain our friendships and family ties.
Some fun things you can consider doing together:
- Go for a cooking/baking/art and craft workshop together
- Catch a movie, concert or a performance
- Potluck at each other’s houses (without the kids!)
- Have a fun ladies night out eating at your favourite restaurants
- Organise a getaway and enjoy a new scenery somewhere
- Go shopping or window-shopping together just for fun
Don’t Neglect Yourself, Self-Care Is Important!
We often hear about the importance of self-care but hardly commit ourselves to it. Why not start slow and easy if you find that you’re too packed for time.
If the idea is overwhelming, start with a once-a-month routine to either spend time by yourself, with your spouse or with a family or friend. You don’t need to schedule time with everyone and be stressed over all the planning.
If it’s too hard to organise time with the suggested few, then just use that time for yourself. After all, this is about self-care.
Your children will thank you for coming back better as a person and mummy.