Some of us have very chatty kids who would talk on and on, whether they’re asked to or not. Whilst some of us have kids whom we need to pry things out from them. I have both of these, and so I had to learn how to cope with conversations from both my sons.
As parents, we want to know everything about them, and when they spend so much time in school, we naturally want to know about their school going-ons too. If you aren’t getting much out of your child, maybe here are some suggestions that may help you get a little more out of them.
Here are some ways to ask children about their school day and get some answers that aren’t monosyllables. One of my favourites that I always started with as soon as I picked up my kids was:
“On a scale of 1 to 5, how happy were you in school today?” Given the answer, I would ask more follow up questions like “What happened that made you feel this happy/unhappy?”
To get them talking more, always ask them open-ended questions. When they are talking, we need to give them our full attention and practise active listening. If you are not prepared to fully listen and pay them 100% attention, then leave the questions till later when you are able to focus on what they say. Children know when we are giving them our full attention and when we’re not.
More Questions To Get Your Child to Talk More About School:
- What’s the best thing that happened at school today?
- What’s the most fascinating thing you learned today?
- What was challenging for you at school today?
- When was your least favourite time?
- Which subject was most interesting for today and why?
- What did you most appreciate about at school today?
- What new thing did you learn or discover about yourself today?
- What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
- What’s the best thing that someone said to you today?
- What’s the worst thing that was said to you today?
- What made you feel proud of yourself today?
- Did you help someone with something today and what was it?
- Did someone help you with something today and what was it?
Tips About Asking Children Communicative Questions
- These questions are not meant to be asked all in one day. Pick two to three, and leave the rest for another day.
- When your child is answering your questions, let him or her speak without interruption so that you can get the full story the way he or she wants to tell it.
- Validate their feelings as it’s being related to you, so that your child feels heard and understood. Give them a safe path to tell it as it is, without worrying about being reprimanded for something that didn’t go right.
- Let them know you appreciate them sharing their school day with you, and that you are always keen to listen to more.
One of the things most parents are most worried about is whether our child is being bullied in school. Some children may try to hide the fact out of fear, or even feeling shameful of being bullied. If questions are unable to draw the answers, then we need to learn to recognise some signs of bullying instead.
Where And When To Ask About Their School Day
I like to ask them about it as soon as they get picked up from school. But that may not be the case for everyone. You may want to ask just one preliminary question about school when you pick them up, and leave the rest for later when you feel is more conducive to talk.
It can be during tea break or meal time, or if you have special time alone, or even during bedtime. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a set time daily. You can probably sense the mood of your child and know when it feels right to ask him or her about the day’s happenings.
At the end of the day, we just want them to be able to communicate better with us about their day. As our child grows, we also need to adapt to different ways to communicate so that we can get them to keep talking to us.