When most of us hear the word kidnapping, we think of strangers.
A masked face in the back of a white van. Definitely not someone we once loved or shared a life with.
But parental abduction, where one parent abducts their own child, happens more often than we’d like to believe.
According to The Straits Times, there were 22 reported cases of parental child abduction in Singapore between 2019 and 2024.
Many of these children were taken out of the country by the parent in question, never to be heard from again.
While these numbers may seem small to you, each case represents underlying issues in the family system that have gone unaddressed for too long.
Parental abduction is not just something that happens in movies.
It’s something we all need to talk about (and prevent).
For divorced couples with children, especially those in the midst of a messy custody battle, this article is for you.
What Exactly Is Parental Abduction?
Parental abduction happens when one parent takes, hides, or refuses to return a child without the legal right to do so.
It happens more frequently after a divorce, especially when custody arrangements aren’t clearly defined or followed.
Sometimes, the parent who takes the child believes they’re doing what’s best.
Maybe they’re afraid of losing the custody battle or feel the child is unsafe with the other parent.
But regardless of the motive, taking custody of a child by force and without the proper legal processes is dangerous.
It can cause lifelong emotional trauma for the child and the other parent.
In international cases, things get even messier.
As different countries have different laws, getting a child back can be a long and painful process.
But why does this happen?
Parental abduction is usually the result of unresolved emotions.
The parent may feel fear, anger, desperation, or even a desire for control. In some cases, it’s a form of retaliation.
In others, the abducting parent might genuinely believe they are protecting the child from harm.
But whatever the reasoning, parental abduction is never good for a child.
Children caught in the middle of a custody battle that involves parental abduction are often left confused, frightened, and isolated.
They are not only cut off from one parent, but they are also suddenly uprooted from their home, school, and everything they’ve ever known.
Warning Signs of Parental Abduction
While it’s impossible to predict with certainty, there are red flags that may signal a higher risk of parental abduction.
If you are co-parenting with an ex, especially after a tense separation, keep an eye out for the following behaviours:
- Outright threats: This is the most obvious sign. If your ex has ever threatened to take your child away or said something like, “You’ll never see them again,” don’t brush it off.
- Breaking rules: If your ex constantly disrespects custody arrangements, like missing handovers, bending visitation rules, or violating boundaries.
- Foreign ties: If your ex is a foreigner or talks often about relocating, this could be cause for concern. If your ex is applying for a child’s passport without telling you, raise the issue.
- Possessiveness: If your ex begins to cut off your contact with your child (even during their custody slot), that’s a red flag.
The main problem with this is that you are no longer living with your ex, and he or she may be secretive about their plans.
So, be sure to remind your child to be aware of their surroundings.
Ask them to report anything strange they may experience while they are living with their other parent.
It’s important to note that not everyone who does one of these things is planning an abduction.
But there are often telltale signs that something is about to go down.
While you cannot predict the future, you can prepare for the worst.
How to Protect Your Family
The goal isn’t to live in fear but to be informed and proactive.
Here are some practical steps that can help prevent parental abduction:
Cross the T’s and Dot the I’s
Ensure your custody arrangement has the official stamp of the law. Vague or informal agreements leave room for confusion or manipulation
Save Receipts
If the relationship with your ex is strained, use mediation or co-parenting apps that document conversations and keep things civil. This is also a good way to gauge your ex’s mental state.
Know Your Rights
Read up on the Hague Convention on International Child Abduction. This is the international agreement Singapore follows when a child is taken abroad unlawfully.
In case an abduction happens, you already have a game plan.
Alert the Authorities
If you believe your child is at risk of being abducted by their parent, stay calm.
Contact the police or seek help from the Ministry of Social and Family Development. You can also request your child’s name to be flagged in passport control systems.
Keep Records
Always keep your child’s legal documents up to date.
This includes identity paperwork and details about the custody arrangement. If the authorities ever need to take action, this information is crucial.
You’re Not Alone
Parental abduction is one of those topics we don’t like to think about.
But for some families, it’s the reality they’re living.
Whether you’re co-parenting peacefully or facing more difficult circumstances, knowledge is power.
By staying informed and proactive, you’re not just protecting your legal rights; you’re also protecting your child’s safety and emotional wellbeing.
If you ever suspect a parental abduction is imminent, don’t hesitate to reach out to the proper authorities. A family lawyer, a counsellor, or support services could all help you if such an event arises.
Remember, you are not overreacting for wanting to protect your child.
Because at the end of the day, children deserve to feel safe and loved by both parents—without ever being caught in the crossfire.
For more insightful stories and parenting advice, stay tuned to Mamahood Singapore!