The Power of Forgiveness: A Valuable Lesson for Your Little One - December 2025

We've spent the whole month of Ramadan fasting as a reminder of those less fortunate. Giving alms to help those in need, and practising humility, empathy, and gratitude. And now, as we welcome Syawal, we embrace another key tradition deeply tied to Hari Raya: forgiveness. Teaching children to forgive and to seek forgiveness is one of the most meaningful lessons of Syawal. But where did this tradition come from, and how can you help your child develop a forgiving heart? Let’s take a closer look. The Tradition of Forgiveness Every year, on the morning of Eid, families gather to celebrate, feast, and—most importantly—ask for each other’s forgiveness. The traditional phrase 'maaf zahir dan batin' loosely translates to, 'forgive me for all my wrongdoings, both seen and unseen'. This act of reconciliation is carried out even if no obvious conflict has taken place. Once the heartfelt apologies have been exchanged, the celebrations continue - often at another home. Interestingly, this practice of seeking forgiveness during Hari Raya is unique to Malaysian and Indonesian Muslims. It was introduced by Indonesia’s Sunan Bonang, who encouraged Muslims to complete their Ramadan observance by seeking and granting forgiveness. Just as fasting cleanses the body and giving zakat (charity) purifies one's wealth, forgiveness is seen as a way to cleanse the soul. Why Forgiveness Matters Forgiving and asking for forgiveness brings countless benefits, not just to our relationships but also to our overall wellbeing. Studies have shown that forgiveness can reduce anxiety, depression, and stress, while also improving sleep, self-esteem, and even lowering blood pressure. Beyond the physical benefits, the act of apologising humbles the ego. It encourages kindness, empathy, and understanding. Too often, we find ourselves holding onto resentment - towards family, friends, or even strangers. We might get angry over small inconveniences, argue with loved ones over trivial matters, or scold our children for honest mistakes. And yet, forgiving someone can be liberating. It allows us to break free from cycles of resentment and bitterness. Teach Your Child About Forgiveness This Eid The Importance of Maintaining Relationships One of the simplest yet most important reasons to practise forgiveness is to strengthen and maintain relationships. It’s important for children to understand that, sometimes, we unintentionally hurt others—just as others may hurt us without meaning to. The annual Hari Raya tradition of asking for forgiveness is a beautiful way to mend past mistakes and move forward with a clean slate. By normalising apologies, children also learn to take responsibility for their actions. Recognising their own shortcomings is an important step in personal growth, and as parents, we all want our children to grow into compassionate, self-aware individuals. Forgiveness Isn’t About Rewards It’s common for the older generation to give children duit raya (Hari Raya money) after they seek forgiveness. While this tradition is harmless, it’s important to ensure that children don’t associate forgiveness with material gain. The true essence of forgiving and seeking forgiveness lies in humility, reconciliation, and respect. It’s not a transaction, and it certainly isn’t about financial rewards. So, while duit raya is a fun part of the celebrations, make sure your child understands that mending relationships is far more valuable than receiving money. Peace of Mind Comes from Letting Go Sometimes, we knowingly or unknowingly hurt someone we love, and the guilt can weigh heavily on us. Many of us struggle to apologise, even when we know we should. However, making a habit of saying 'I’m sorry' helps remove the fear and pride that often get in the way. That doesn’t mean you should accept blame for things that aren’t your fault or allow others to take advantage of you. But it does mean recognising when love and connection are more important than pride. A simple apology can heal wounds much faster than ignoring them, and instilling this value in your child will help them grow into a kind and considerate person. Forgive and Forget for a Blessed Eid Although seeking forgiveness isn’t a religious obligation during Ramadan and Syawal, it is deeply rooted in our Singaporean culture. It’s not always easy to apologise or to forgive, but this beautiful tradition has endured for generations. Perhaps Singaporean Muslims have long understood the power of forgiveness - that in a single day, past mistakes can be erased through mutual compassion. For children, this can be a profoundly freeing experience. By demonstrating forgiveness in your own life, not just during Syawal but in everyday situations, you set an example they will carry forward. So, let’s take this opportunity to start afresh. Reconnect with estranged family members, mend old friendships, and let go of past grievances. Your child will learn a valuable lesson in kindness and emotional resilience by watching you embrace forgiveness. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri in advance to you and yours with love from all of us at Mamahood! For more insightful stories and parenting advice, stay tuned to Mamahood Singapore!

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