How death affects children?
Our child will be confronted sooner or later with the notion of death. It can be with a pet, a relative or someone that he knows. He will probably have a burst of questions; it is better to be ready to answer it.
The loss of a loved one can be disruptive, disturbing and even frightening for a child. He may feel abandoned. He may also believe that he is responsible for the death because he did something forbidden.
Children are also worried about whether they can die. Toddlers almost always worry about whether you or other loved ones are going to die. The death of an animal can also disturb a child. He may wonder what happens to the dead animal.
The words to speak about death
If you tell your child that Grandpa has “fallen asleep,” your toddler may be afraid to go to bed for fear of dying too. Same thing if you tell him that Grandpa “is gone” for a long trip. Your child will wait for his return or be anxious when a loved one goes on a trip.
Also, do not just tell your child that her grandmother died because she was very sick because he might think she had a cold. He might be afraid of dying too if he gets sick or it happens to you. Tell him the truth instead by using simple words: “Grandma had cancer. It is a very serious disease. Some people heal, but not always. Reassure your child that death is not contagious.
And you, Mom, are you going to die soon?
This question can leave you speechless, but it’s important to answer as simple as possible. Indeed, silence can generate an additional trauma.
After having informed him about the death of a loved one, we then check with our child what he understands. We listen well to his answer and answer his questions.
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