“What’s for dinner?”
It’s a simple question, until you’re the one who has to answer it every single day.
Multiply that by what snack to pack, whether to allow one more episode of Bluey, if today is a no-sugar day, and whether it’s time to size up the kid’s shoes, and suddenly you’re not just tired, you’re fried.
Welcome to the invisible load of motherhood, where the mental marathon isn’t about the “big” decisions but the endless stream of small ones.
This, my friends, is decision fatigue. And if you’ve ever stared blankly at your fridge while a child whines behind you, you know exactly what we’re talking about.
The Mental Load You Never Signed Up For
Motherhood is full of joy, hugs, giggles, and all that wholesome Pinterest stuff.
But it’s also a nonstop loop of “What now?”
You’re the unofficial manager of snacks, screen time, sleep schedules, school projects, appointments, birthday gifts, wardrobe updates, and oh, your own life too, if there’s time.
Decision fatigue is what happens when your brain, exhausted from making too many choices (even tiny ones), starts to falter. The quality of your decisions drops.
You may get snappy, indecisive, or just go with the easiest option, like letting your kid eat cereal for dinner three nights in a row (no judgement).
But this isn’t about poor parenting.
It’s about mental bandwidth. You only have so much of it. And motherhood demands a lot of it, every hour of the day.
Tiny Choices, Big Weight
Most of us expect to have to make the big decisions. Schools, vaccines, discipline strategies. But it’s the tiny, repetitive choices that sneak up on you.
You didn’t expect to feel so depleted after planning yet another packed lunch.
You didn’t think “Should we bring the stroller or the carrier?” would trigger a full-on existential crisis.
You thought you’d be able to handle it all, and for the most part, you do. But that’s kind of the point.
You’re always handling it. And that’s exhausting.
Even worse? Many of these decisions go unnoticed or unacknowledged.
You don’t get a gold star for choosing the least sugar-filled yoghurt.
No one claps when you remember to book the dentist on time.
But your brain is still working overtime, and the burnout is real.
Why Mothers Carry More of the Load
Of course, partners may help. But studies show that in most households, even when responsibilities are shared, decision-making still disproportionately falls on mothers.
Not just doing the thing, but thinking about the thing. What’s needed, when, how, and for whom.
It’s the planning, coordinating, and anticipating – the “invisible labour” – that wears you down.
The classic example? A mum asks her partner to “just handle dinner tonight”.
He cooks, sure. But she still made the shopping list, prepped the veggies, and reminded him what the kids will actually eat.
This is why even helpful partners don’t always ease the mental load.
Until the responsibility of decision-making itself is shared, not just the task, the fatigue remains.
When “What’s for Dinner?” Breaks You
There’s a reason the “What’s for dinner?” question is a meme-worthy punchline. It seems harmless, but it often represents the last straw.
After a day full of 300 mini-decisions and having to choose, prep, and execute a dinner plan, you already feel like there’s a weight on your shoulders.
All of this is enough to make even the most composed mum spiral.
And the worst part? You may not even realise you’re burnt out.
You just feel irritable, forgetful, guilty, and inexplicably overwhelmed by tiny tasks.
That’s decision fatigue in action.
Practicality Over Perfection
The goal isn’t perfection; it’s practicality. And a little bit of strategy can help lighten the mental load:
- Simplify choices: Pick your battles. Let them wear mismatched socks. Serve the same breakfast three days in a row. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel every day.
- Create routines: Decision fatigue thrives in chaos. A predictable weekly meal plan, a regular bedtime routine, and even a standard snack rotation can help reduce the number of daily decisions.
- Outsource and delegate: If your partner is capable of making work decisions, they’re more than capable of choosing a snack for the school bag. Hand over full ownership of some tasks, not just the execution.
- Build in “no-decision zones”: Give yourself breaks. Decide not to decide anything past 8pm. Wear the same outfit on Mondays. Use default settings on your apps. Give your brain a breather.
- Acknowledge the load: Sometimes, what you really need is for someone to say, “Wow, you make so many decisions every day.” You’re not failing. You’re doing too much.
Slowing Down
Motherhood doesn’t come with a job description, but if it did, “24/7 Decision Maker” would be right at the top.
And while it may feel like you’re constantly falling short, the truth is, you’re doing more mental heavy lifting than anyone realises.
So the next time someone casually asks, “What’s for dinner?”, feel free to say, “Whatever someone else decides.” Or better yet, “Cereal again. Because I said so.”
You’ve earned it.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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