School has started, some of our children are going back to school and some are attending for the first time. For some younger children, going back to school can still be overwhelming even though it’s not their first time.
It takes patience, understanding and lots of encouragement to help a child adjust to school life, especially for one who feels anxious and unhappy about going to school. All we can do is to offer a support system to carry them through.
Here are two areas we can start with to support our child. For those who are in school for the first time, you may want to read this too.
Offer Advise That’s Specific
One of the things we tend to do to comfort our child who’s anxious about going to school is to say things that are a little too general. Some of these lines would sound something like this:
- “Don’t worry, you will feel better once you start making friends with your classmates.”
- “You have a nice teacher, you’ll be OK.”
- “School is fun, you’ll love it.”
- “You’re going to have a good time, don’t worry so much.”
Whilst we mean well and say these things to make our child feel better, more often than not, they won’t work. The child may listen and nod, but it may not work out as we say.
What will work better is to find out the exact area that’s causing anxiety in the child. There could be many small things that are going through his or her mind that’s causing the worries.
For example, being shy and uncomfortable about making friends and don’t know how to go about it. Some may even worry that he or she is unable to understand the teacher but afraid to say so. It may even be a case of feeling left out during recess and being alone and awkward.
It really could be a variety of issues, which will be unique to each child. So the best words of comfort and advise that we can offer to our child is to know exactly what’s bothering them and help them tackle it.
Create a Workable Routine
It helps for children to have a routine to cope with their school life. There are no hard and fast rules about it, and it should be tailored around what works for each child. What the child does after school hours can help the child to focus, be more organised and prepared for their school days.
Some of the simple things we can set up for them as a daily routine include:
- Set specific time in the day for them to finish their school work everyday
- Get the child to pack his or her own bag for school everyday
- Let the child get ready his or her school uniform the night before to avoid morning rush
- Set aside time to talk about the school day (encourage your child to talk about anything)
- Set a fixed time for bed and ensure they have sufficient sleep each night
- Give them time on a daily basis to do something they enjoy
When planning their daily routine, include them in the process and plan it together so that they will feel involved and take better ownership of the plan. It’s also not cast in stone the moment you have set a routine. If you find that something doesn’t work well, change and adjust to make it work better for your child.
A routine that’s agreeable to them is more likely to be followed (and not grudgingly at that). Better yet, make a fun and creative schedule out of it so that it’s a pleasant piece of art or craft they refer to everyday, pinned up on a board.
Being There For Your Child
We can try all ways to help our child adjust, but the best way is truly to be there for them. Communication with the child is key in understanding their difficulties and subsequently helping them to come to a solution.
Knowing that we are there to love and support them is crucial. If we lose patience at times, pushing our way by saying “I say so” doesn’t help the child adjust any faster and better. It can be a frustrating time for parents and child, but know that it does get better over time as they settle into school. It gets easier only when we help along in a loving way without pushing them out on their own when they’re not ready.
Let your child know often that you are always there to talk and help. Keep the communication channel open at all times. If your child isn’t the type who will openly talk about things, then ask questions about their day.
On non-school days, spend more time together and enjoy activities to bond with your child. Sometimes, little things like this can help them cope better with all things in life.
Keeping Them Safe In School
If you’re unsure how to go about school safely during this time of pandemic, here are some FAQs from the Ministry of Education and ways to support your child’s mental health that you can refer to. Follow the guidelines and remind your child on how to keep safe at all times with their interactions with others in school and ways to keep a healthy hygiene.