I think it’s safe to say that it is every parent’s hope that their child can be self-motivated and interested to be a self-learner. Does that sound about right to you, mummies? It is for me.
You see, from the time my elder boy started schooling and needed to study for exams, I often had to be the one to nudge him along to do his revision.
“Go study already,” I’d say, and the shocking reply that came back was, “How to study?”
My immediate response to him was to go read his text books and answer questions based on what he’s read and learned. He complied but found it so utterly boring. I caught him many times slumped in his chair, facing his opened book but I wasn’t sure if he was just staring into space!
What Can I Do To Help My Child Be a Self-Learner?
I’m not big on tuition, neither am I able to teach my own children. My patience would run dry quickly. I’ve heard about self-learning but don’t know how to go about teaching this concept to my boys.
Fortunately for me, I have a friend who’s intimate with this topic, and was willing to share her perspectives and helpful tips and methods on self-learning for children.
Wendy Khoo, a mother of three, has been assisting and guiding many parents in looking for individualised learning programs for their children before setting up her own academy four years ago.
Playing the dual role of a mother and an educator, her insights on this is invaluable in helping me to shape my boys up for their own self-learning journey.
Q1: What is Self-Directed Learning?
A1: Self-directed learning, or individualised learning, recognises that every child is a unique individual and hence, learns at their own pace, space, style and timing. To start with, we need to give our child the space to plan and set their own short and long term goals. Allow them to choose the approaches that best suit their mental readiness. This process allows the child to discover, tap into and enhance his or her own strength.
We have seen many successful entrepreneurs today who were school dropouts. What does this tell us? Educators have failed to recognise their brilliance because they were expected to perform based on their age group, and amongst their peer’s level, instead of their individual capabilities.
If we inculcate in our child that learning and education is all about scoring As by memorising answers to questions, then we are setting them up for failure in life. Life’s reality is about finding ways to solve problems. We need them to understand that learning is a process of discovery.
I often reiterate to my children, ”Don’t score that A because you have memorised the answers. Instead, it’s more important that you understand how to derive at the answer.”
That’s what self-learning is about.
Q2: How Do We Get Our Children To Be Self-Learners?
A2: There is no secret to this. As parents, we often give our children the fish instead of guiding them on how to fish. One of the main reasons we do this is because we want them to skip the failure process, and get straight to success. In a way, we are taking a short cut approach to learning.
By giving them the fish, we are doing more harm than good, especially when it comes to building their survival skills. We have to accept that failure is not the opposite of success, but as part and parcel of building success. We need to teach our children not to fear failure. Instead, they shall see each failure as a stepping stone towards success.
Let our children understand that learning is a part of human’s survival skills. Combine this understanding with the right definitions of failure and success, it helps them understand that they are responsible for their survival. Learning then ceases to be a matter of what parents want out of them. Rather, it is what they want for themselves.
The art of mastering self-learning is really a habit. Once we have mastered discovering answers on our own, and not expecting others to spoon-feed us with answers, we have learnt to be resourceful and this itself is a great survival skill.
Support And Guide Them
Guide them to use the tools, technologies and techniques available to their advantage in learning. Do it right from the beginning and you will see them learning with joy. Once they have had a taste and experience of their own resourcefulness, it can be an addictive feeling of success and self-fulfilment.
Remember, we don’t have to limit their learning to only what’s in their school books. There are many free learning aids available online which can help spice up their learning life.
Q3: What Makes a Child Willing And Want to Learn?
A3: What made you learn how to book flights and accommodation online for that dream holiday you’ve always wanted to go on? Our children can be motivated in their learning in the same way that we identify our own motivation factors.
The key here is to identify the underlying motivational factor for the child to want to learn. Is it related to someone like parents/peers/teachers, personal interests, personal development satisfaction or even the environment they are in? Have open talks with them, that’s the only way to find out their true, inner motivation.
Their motivation may be intrinsic, and as young children, they may not form an understanding of it themselves. By talking with them and drawing out their answers, we parents may have a much better understanding of where they are coming from. Then, we are able to help them see their own motivation with better clarity.
Remember that motivating factors change over time, hence we need to hold constant (yet casual) conversations to continuously identify their new motivation from time to time. For a start, we as parents can employ some of these motivation strategies to help them get started.
Q4: Can All Kids at Any Age, With Different Learning Capabilities And Intelligence be Directed to be Self-Learners?
A4: All of us are capable of self-learning. It’s more the “CAN DO” attitude and mindset rather than the age and academic ability. Having the “I CAN DO IT” mindset means the battle is already 50% won. What the child needs is to be placed at a level which he is most comfortable to perform at. Then, couple this with the right motivational rewards.
I have witnessed children who were previously labelled as disruptive and not focused. They miraculously transformed into the most brilliant students ever! This change was due to accurately matching and placing them at the level that they can and want to perform at!
For children who disrupt and lose focus due to boredom, they are showing signs that they are not learning at their actual academic level. Learning capabilities shall not be measured against peers of the same age. Instead, time is the only measure for the child to catch up with his or her own learning levels.
Our Roles As Parents To Foster A Positive And Better Learning Environment
Cultivating our children to be independent self-learners is the best gift we can offer to them. This drives their thirst for life-long learning, and remove their fear of failure as they pursue their dreams in life.
Build them up in a home that’s a conducive environment for self-learning simply by being encouraging parents. Allow our children to learn through mistakes and failures, and not reprimand them for it. Reinforcement of positive traits and values is also important. Using corrective action over punishment is a better way to motivate children to learn positively. Positive parental involvement in our child’s education plays an important part too.
Embracing Self-Learning
After having this insightful sharing from Wendy, I’m ready to put myself and my boys to the test. To kick-start self-learning for my boys, I’m planning to use some of these self-learning techniques which I find to be quite useful, and probably offers a more refreshing approach for my young ones.
The way I see it, our children started out their young lives as self-learners when they were little toddlers. Once formal education set in, the term “study” takes over a new lease of life. It seems to make learning dull, painful and dreaded. It’s about time to reverse this for our children and watch them blossom into happy and motivated self-learners for life.