Divorce is not an easy thing for the family, and most of the time, the kids feel like they are responsible for his marriage to come to an end and they feel utterly guilty about it. They might feel like their world has turned upside down and everyone in the family feels like they’ve lost their sense of direction and maybe will lead them to have anxiety or depression, or sometimes, both.
It really breaks your heart to see your children so hurt and you yourself will feel helpless, but what more can you do about it? Not all family is perfect. So, even though you can’t make their sadness go away, but you can always help them through all their disappointments.
Before anything happens, Tell Them About The News.
How to break the news to them?
Sit down along with your spouse, and children. Explain to them that you are getting a divorce. Make sure that your children understand that this is only between adults and that they have nothing to do about it, and that both you and your spouse will still love them no matter what.
Also, make sure to inform your child’s teacher about the news so that they can keep an eye on your child and keep you updated about anything.
Make it clear that you still love them
Kids will assume that they are not loved because their parents are always not around, and they think that they are somehow to be blamed. You need to continually assure your child that people make mistakes and that does not affect their feelings for them and that they will always be loved no matter what. For example, if either the parent does not show up, tell your child that people do make mistakes and to forgive them even when they are wrong.
Encourage your child to speak up
Your child may bottle up all her emotions and doesn’t say it out. Tell them to voice out their expressions, and it may help ease their tension. Talk to them to speak up without lashing out their anger, and you will see them saying things like “ I miss you”, “why did you cancel our plans” or “Why weren’t you there when I needed you” and so on. Some children may be embarrassed to speak up, so, encourage them to write a letter, text or email.
NEVER fight in front of your kids
Parental battles should take place over the phone and not in front of your child. This will make them even more depressed, and research has been shown that only poor adjusted kids of divorce are those who go through parental battles and heated conversations. So, please stop fighting for your child’s sake.
During a divorce, put your child first, and the last thing that you would want to do is to interact with your spouse, even though it is essential. Changes are tough and know that even after the divorce, you and your husband will still be mom and dad to your child.