Healthline found that 63% of mothers feel stressed out at the start of the year when their children start school. Are you feeling the same way?
The truth is, most times this comes so naturally and we can’t seem to control it. But there are ways to cope and destress. Eventually the school routine and anxieties will settle, and hopefully so does our well-being.
If you are feeling the blues, don’t fret. You won’t be the only one. You may not hear of it from other mummies, but we all feel the same one time or another. So take a deep breath, and read on.
Help Our Child By Relieving Our Own Stress First
When we ourselves are stressed, we may not be able to offer the best help to our child. So let’s first tackle our own issues first. We don’t need to put in extra effort just to destress. Just doing these three simple things right can help with our stress level:
1. Have a regular exercise regime – studies have shown that physical activities do reduce and prevent the effects of stress. Exercising can improve moods, and also help us to sleep better.
2. Get sufficient sleep – sleeping well helps our body to be well rested and allows our body systems to function better. Having better sleep also helps with stress management.
3. Eat right and healthy – our eating habits can affect the way we feel. Replace refined carbs and sugary foods with lots of vegetables, fruits and food that contain healthy fats and protein.
Of course there are more ways to destress. These are the most basic (and yet they work) and they don’t require a lot of effort. It’s a must for us to eat and sleep everyday; we just need minor adjustments to get the best results out of them. Adding on an exercise regime if you’ve not been doing any may not be as taxing on your time as you think. A simple 15 to 30 minutes exercise a day is good enough to start with.
Don’t be too quick to dismiss these simple yet effective ways to manage stress before you give them a try. These same basic things can also be applied on our children too.
Stress From Our Own Over-Worrying
The stress we face usually stems from our children’s ability to cope in school and whether they’re doing fine at school. Some children need more time and help than others, so it won’t help if we compare one child to another.
One of the things we can do is to calm our own nerves and look at it objectively. Perhaps we need to first “diagnose” ourselves in terms of where our stress is coming from. Is it just our own doing, as in we over-worry when everything is fine but we worry in advance that something may go wrong? I’m a big worrier and I’m guilty of that many a time!
If that’s also the case for you, we just have to realise that fact, and tune our minds to other matters instead of letting our mind roam and create worries unnecessarily. It is easier said than done. We need some other active thoughts to distract us from over-worrying.
Some of us may also have an issue with letting go or face separation anxieties if our child is going to school and being away from us for the first time. This anxiety is very real for many mummies.
Filling our time with something pleasant, doing something we’ve not had much chance of doing while our child is with us can help ease the anxieties. At the very least, it takes our minds off.
Stress From Our Child’s Coping Difficulties
When our children aren’t coping well with school, we are also stressed about the situation. Helping them to cope is our top priority, but we need to help from a place of calm so that we don’t inadvertently add on our stress to our child. Children can sense our emotions and be affected by us too.
In order to help our child, we need to understand where their stress points are coming from and help them to overcome those problem areas. It’s understandable, especially for first-time schoolers to still have the jitters.
For some children, it may take a longer adjust period, so don’t over-think that you are not doing a good job. Hopefully some of these ideas may help your little one cope.
Relax, And Know That This Too Shall Pass
Whilst it may seem like an uphill battle for some mummies dealing with the stress of school, know that it will pass as we go along. Speak to other mummies and share your thoughts and experiences. Even if they can’t help directly, talking about it and letting it out may help you feel better.
As with all other phases of parenthood, this too, is one of those growing phases for us and our children.