It’s the end of a long, hard day of being a mum.
Your little one is finally in bed, the house is a mess, but at least your job is done (for now). That is until you decide to take a load off on the couch and scroll through TikTok.
Immediately, you are bombarded by video upon video of mums with perfect hair making homemade lunchboxes, decorating pristine living rooms, and baking fresh croissants like they have a degree in pastry arts.
You feel a pit in your stomach.
Suddenly, your own backbreaking day of parenting (full of coerced screen time and tantrums) feels like you just failed at being a mum.
The next thing you know, you’re Googling meal prep recipes, downloading another parenting book that you’ll probably never finish, and researching the best sensory play for your child to boost their learning power.
Sound familiar? Welcome to the wonderful world of Anxious Mum Syndrome.
What is Anxious Mum Syndrome?
While not an official medical or psychological condition, this experience is starting to become the norm amongst non-influencer mums.
Surprisingly, being the target audience of this niche doesn’t exactly feel empowering anymore.
Thanks to the constant stream of parenting perfection online, the mum-fluencer content is secretly fueling a quiet epidemic of anxiety among mums.
It may have started out innocently enough: mums sharing resources, tips, and pointers.
But now it has become a capitalistic nightmare.
Women who monetise on the insecurities, shame, and guilt of other mums for a quick buck.
When was the last time you as a mum felt like your parenting was enough?
Social media has indeed made us all more connected, but it is also a hotbed of unrealistic expectations.
You see polished snapshots of other mums’ lives and may mistake them for the full picture.
It’s like watching the trailer and telling yourself you already know the whole movie.
We may forget the mess behind the camera, the tantrums edited out, and the paid help secretly behind the scenes.
When the comparison trap kicks in, that’s when the Anxious Mum Syndrome kicks in.
For new mums especially, it’s all too easy to spiral into a pit of self-pity. Just from a few minutes of scrolling through TikTok or Instagram. And the baby blues are definitely not helping either.
The Reality of Mum-Fluencers
Social media is a wonderful window into the greater world, but sometimes it doesn’t always show us the truth. Instead of providing comfort, it can distort our idea of how we should parent. How we should strive for perfection.
Even if you’ve carefully curated your feed to show you only helpful, realistic and grounded advice, those cookie cutter mum-fluencer videos always manage to slip through the cracks.
This is not to say that all mum-fluencer accounts are predatory, fake, or anxiety-inducing. There are some genuinely good creators out there who offer real and practical motherhood advice.
The thing is, no parent is truly perfect, no matter how hard they try.
In fact, trying to chase or erect this image of the ‘perfect mother’ may often result in us being less able to perform our maternal duties.
Things become less fun and more robotic, more sterile, and our kids will also end up feeling disconnected from us.
So, what can you do if you feel the anxiety creeping in?
Fortunately, the Anxious Mum Syndrome is not really all that different from the regular version of anxiety.
It all comes down to managing your own mental health in a mindful way.
Do not let the algorithm hypnotise you into falling for the illusion.
Understand that social media is not real – no matter how relatable the people in it try to be.
Is There a Cure for Mum Anxiety?
The first step to dealing with Anxious Mum Syndrome is to recognise it isn’t a personal failing.
It’s a modern-day consequence of living in a time where parenting has become both a performance and a competition.
And the good news? There are ways to quiet the noise.
Start with a social media audit.
What accounts are you following, and how do they make you feel?
If a creator makes you feel more anxious and defeated than inspired or empowered, pull the plug. It’s okay to mute or unfollow them.
Choose creators that keep it real, that show the highs and the lows. Mum-fluencers who remind you that you’re not alone.
Next, give yourself permission to step away – that little red notification isn’t going anywhere.
Reclaim a few quiet moments for yourself. Read a book, take a walk, call a friend.
Your mental space matters, and a few small shifts can make a big difference.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of community – in real life.
Chatting with another mum over coffee (or a messy playground bench) can offer more reassurance than a hundred curated reels ever could.
Sharing struggles out loud reminds us that we’re all winging it, one snack and one meltdown at a time.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Parenting is hard. You’re not supposed to have it all figured out.
If the house is a mess and your child had fish fingers for dinner (again), it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human.
And a good enough mum is more than good enough.
Trying Our Best
Before you scroll through TikTok just to see another Nara Smith video, ask yourself: Do I really need that kind of energy in my life throwing me off my game?
Instead of relying on social media to fill the gaps in your time, be more mindful of your hours. Not by doing more chores or planning meal preps, but by truly enjoying and immersing yourself in the experience of motherhood.
So, the next time you find yourself spiralling after one too many perfect squares on your feed, pause.
Breathe.
And remember that the real magic of motherhood isn’t found in filters or captions.
It’s in the everyday, messy, beautiful moments that no one else sees.
You’ve got this, mummies!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Mamahood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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