We often heard about Tiger mom I believe, but do you ever come across a Helicopter mom? Or are you one of these “helicopter” moms??
When you feel that your child is in danger, it is normal to feel those mama bear instincts kick in.
It is normal because as a mother, it is our job to protect our kids, right?
But it will come to a point when our children need to learn to handle things by themselves and if we don’t back off, we’re in danger of becoming one of those always-ready-to-swoop-in parents you’ve likely seen at the park, on a playdate or at a kids’ birthday party, commonly known as “helicopter parents.”
What Is A Helicopter Mom?
Helicopter parents, just like helicopters, hover closely and are rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not,
says Fran Walfish, PsyD, a Beverly Hills, California-based family and relationship psychotherapist and the author of The Self-Aware Parent.
Partly enmeshed, partly anxious and continuously assisting, this parent pays too-close attention to his or her child’s experiences and problems.
So that mom who bought a baby monitor for her daycare center so she wouldn’t miss a moment? Or that dad who redoes his middle schooler’s homework to make sure everything’s correct? You are obviously a helicopter parent.
3 Signs You Might Be A Helicopter MOM
1. You Fight Your Child’s Conflicts
What will you do when your child comes home in tears after quarreling with a friend? If you answered that you would call their mother to resolve the problems; you need to think of others solutions! Instead of call they parents, why not you discuss with your kid what should they do to solve the conflicts by themselves.
Be a support system, don’t be a helicopter mom.
2. You Do Your Kids’ School Work
Put on your preschooler’s shoes. Solve a hard math equation for your teen; there are plenty of ways to swoop in to save your kids from feeling frustrated. But healthy levels of stress can boost his problem-solving skills.
Instead of doing that, just let your kids figure things out on their own. Praise their efforts when they stick with hard situations.
3. You Play it Too Safe
“Get down from up there!” “Don’t ride so fast!” “Hold my hand down the slide!” Would you bubble wrap your kids if you could?
Instead of being a helicopter mom, let them climb a tree, or fall and scrape their knee. It’s good for their growth as a person.
Do remember the goal is to keep your child as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible.
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